Stop Fretin

Stop fretin and Chill……relax……..let life happen…….it’s going to anyhow so why make it harder than it has to be..

I can truly say that I have learned through the years to try not to worry. Some days are better than others.

Worrying is like praying for something bad to happen.
If you spend a lot of time worrying about the “what if”, it may as well have already happened.

Try and concentrate on the “what is”. It will have affected you the same as if it HAS happened. It’s like the bull in the china shop.

Let’s face it, the bull IS going to get in the damn shop from time to time. You can wrestle with him, tear the entire building down in the process and destroy all that surrounds you. OR you can just let the big ole fucker walk in and out.

Chances are, he’ll just walk in one door and out the other, unbothered, as long as you don’t grab him by the horns.

Now this is not to say don’t handle your problems, just the opposite. Just wait until they’re actually problems.

And then don’t fret, TAKE ACTION!!! I’ve got better things to do with my brain than to worry about what MIGHT happen. Hell, it may not even happen.

So stop struggling and stop fighting the flow of life and lay back and float on……Have an awesome evening.. PEACE 🖤

Acceptance

This is why I do not judge anybody.

And if I ever have offended anybody by anything I’ve ever said, I so apologize. But I’ve confessed my sins and begged forgiveness from God and I’m good. I know what it’s like to have a weight problem and be handicapped. So please let’s not make fun of people in this world. My mother instilled insecurity and me and I’m still battling it at almost 60. The best thing that ever happened to me was meeting K1 when I was 18 because he showed me what it was like to be accepted no matter what. He’s never left my side with the yoyo weight and the handicap issues in my last 10 years that I’ve had. Anyhow I just felt like sharing. Nobody will read this but I just wanted to put it out there in case somebody does and needed a little motivation 🖤

Knee Replacement Update

Here is my 8 1/2 month post op and last knee dcotor appt until my preop in January 2023.

The left knee looks great. My bend is spot on and the straight is as it should be. My right knee as you can see, is bone on bone. I can hear it crunch when I walk now. You want to talk about pain. Just know that my left knee was worse.

I look at the left knee and see the space in between and know that it is called comfort when I walk now compared to the right knee and this is what I keep focusing on.

My dr is the surgeon to the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team so I know I am in good hands. I have complete faith. It is so funny that he did the surgery in 42 minutes. It took me longer to sign in and prep for surgery!!

I had my last gel shot for this bad knee (it is very sore today and I am icing as I am here at work). I am just going to keep moving forward and try to stay as focused and positive as I can be and realize that it will continue to hurt until I get a new one.

My doctor said to remember where I was and where I am now and that he’ll fix it come January.

♥

My to do list

I am sharing with you my to do list for today. I do one of these everyday. I just happen to look at it and go oh my goodness that is so awesome 🖤

Day in and Day out….

Yes, it does get boring. Yes, it does get old. Yes, it does get annoying. Yes, it does make you want to say i no longer want to do this. BUT if you truly want it, (lose weight/exercise more/change lifestyle etc), then you have to do it, day in and day out.

If you feel that you did not do well the last meal or yesterday, so what. That is correct. So what. You cannot change it. It is now your past. Your history. It can ever be fixed (or corrected). So, decide to do better now.

Make note please, that overeating and choosing different items to eat is not bad. You are not a weak person. You just chose to make the wrong decision. One meal will not make you gain a hundred pounds. But if you continue to eat like that (calories in versus calories out), then yes, you will gain weight. Sorry, but it is a fact. Trust me, I know this to be true.

When I started (again) Thanksgiving Day, 2020, I merely changed what I ate. Not the amount as I am a volume eater. I just change the foods. Yes, it works. If I ate BBQ and fast food, like I did, it was no wonder I got that size again. When I stopped, the weight came off. It came off quick also. I was very strict as I had to be (remember, I could hardly walk so I had to control what I ate). Day in and Day out..

You are the one who has to dig down deep and make the decision. I had to make that decision to stop drinking in 2018. No one else could do it for me. Same with my eating. No one can make me eat except me. It is me that chooses to eat whatever. If we go out, and we do now that covid has relaxed and now that I am able to, I make the choice to eat as clean (I mean as low carb as I can make it) as I am able. Sometimes, the choices are lacking but if you want it bad enough, you do it. You make it happen. You make the decision to not allow the (food, drink or whatever) control you.

You are stronger than you think. I can prove it.

Pretend you are on a rail road track. All of the sudden, a train is barreling towards you at 100MPH. Are you going to stand there and get hit OR are you going to move out of the way?

You are at a red light. Are you going to just drive through it?

You are at a bank. Are you going to rob it?

YOU are mentally stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I battle every single day (every hour sometimes) with self doubt, with negative thoughts, wondering if someone is mad at me or even likes me (wtf, I mean I am not in middle school anymore). I battle demons daily and let me tell you how hard that can be sometimes. I do this day in and day out. No weekends off. NO holidays off. The negative thoughts are always there. Ready to pounce if I have a bad moment or a weak moment.

I have never seen myself as a strong person. I am pretty passive. It takes a lot to get very upset. But I find that my feelings are hurt easy. I hate that about me but I am nearly 100 so I best learn to accept it.

I know the holidays are coming. Good eating time. Please eat and enjoy.

Day in and day out….. ♥

It’s me

Just because you screwed up in your past doesn’t mean you ARE a screw up. Everyone makes mistakes.

I know I’ve made my share, and probably enough for a few other people, too.

Just don’t let the mistakes of your past dictate your future. Learn from them and become a wiser and much stronger you.

Don’t get held back by the sins of your past either. Let go and let God.

Your self image is the image that you will project to others. Make sure that is the image YOU want others to see and not the one that you have been told that you have to be…

The power and choice to change is and always has been yours…..Now go out there and be awesome and show the world who you ARE.

Stay blessed 🖤

Clothes do not lie

It is so important to be real with YOURSELF.

You can tell everyone how awesome you are doing and how well the (diet) is coming along but the clothes do not lie. IF you are wanting to lose weight, are you?

If you want to lose weight, change what you eat and if possible, move a bit. I am here to prove that you do not need to go to a gym to lose weight. I did it by merely being very strict on what I did eat.

I stop eating at 730pm at night and eat at 12 noon the next day. I drink a lot. (you will find that if you are hungry, drinking will most likely solve that and if it don’t, eat some protein).

There is nothing wrong with eating or food. There is only choices. Some choices are just better than others. But get that food is bad or a certain type of food is bad. My BBQ chips are not bad. They are just not overly good for me. See what I mean? And if I truly wanted one or two, I am sure it would not derail me but I am wanting a new 2nd knee more than a minute crunchy/delightful lust !!

So, I have a pair of pants in the bathroom. Every so often, I try it on to see how the progress is coming. It is getting there but my saggy stomach will delay that I am afraid but I am still trying.

As long as you try. That is what matters.

Use whatever motivation you need. Watch 600 pound life and think how easy it could be to get that size. Trust me when I say that I was there nearly 3x in my life. Wow. It is so easy to get there. I feel awful for them and I feel sad but I am also angry. Because they have a fucking choice. Most cannot move so the food is brought to them. Enabling someone is bad. My hubs sis was about 5 to 600 pounds and handicap and food was brought to her also. I seen if first hand. She got that size by over eating crappy food.

Fast/junk food is tasty and cheap and easy. I miss it. I will miss it always. Sure I can have it whenever I want but I choose not too. Yesterday, I had a kit kat bar. I sure did and it was delicious. I don’t regret it. I ate it and got on with living my life. I know that one item won’t blow my food intake.

So lets change our thinking and of course change what we eat and let the clothes be your guide.

NOTE that if you drink 8 oz of water, you will gain 8 oz. When you pee pee out 8oz, you will lose 8 oz. Stop weight yourself constantly. As I write this, I just ate my lunch. I am stuffed. My pants are (feeling) tighter. My belly full. However much that food weighed, is what I gained including the 2 cups of coffee, the diet coke, etc. Do you see what I am tossing at you? DO YOU SEE IT?

If you want to weigh yourself, go ahead but go by your clothes. They won’t change. If they are tight, you know what that means. IF they get a bit loose, you also know what that means.

Are you getting a clear picture?

I truly believe to make it as easy as it can be. Life is already tough. Why make this change tougher? Whether you want to lose 5 pounds or 500, it will come off the same exact way it went on, one pound at a time. When you have WLS, it helps you eat less but I can attest that you can (eat and drink) and regain the weight you may lose with WLS. You really have to change what and how you eat and yes, what you eat.

So, what is it you want to do? Lose weight? Exercise more? Feel better? That choice if yours.

You are perfect as you are. Right now. So what if we have excess skin (ahem ME) or excess weight (ahem me). We are as god made us, perfect. Now let us love ourselves enough to make ourselves well (healthy). Just take one step. Just one. Focus on one meal at a time.

JUST ONE change can make a huge difference.

Clothes won’t lie so don’t lie to yourself. YOU know if you overeat and eat junk/crap food. YOU know. That halloween candy bag did not get empty by itself girl. I just don’t buy it. I maybe strict but still…..hahaha

I believe in you. YOU believe in you to take one step to make a change.

I love wearing clothes, like I am today, that I bought years ago but was too fat to wear. No today, this shirt I love, is too big. But that makes me smile. Clothes don’t lie.

Keto Help

Review this and let this help you in your low carb journey.

Being honest

No matter what is going on in your life, when you wake up everyday, be honest with yourself. Have you done your best? Have you truly took care of yourself? Be honest.

My blog is about losing weight. You can make a change concerning whatever (nail polish color, what to make for dinner or lose weight or just exercise more). Whatever it is, you have to decide to just do it.

I am a retired professional dieter. I have dieted my entire life. It worked. I had lap band weight loss surgery. It worked. I have counted calories. It worked. I have exercised. It worked.

Why then do I have a weight problem if it all worked?

BECAUSE I stopped working.

THE moment that I lost weight, I was like yes! And over ate, stopped exercising, starting overeating and drinking again and bam, gained it back and then some (at least 5+ times).

I let myself get so big (again), that walking was very hard. I was using a cane every day because I could not physically do it. All I did was eat and drink and get bigger.

I went to the knee doctor to try and get a shot to help with knee pain. The doctor told me that if I lost weight, he would do the knee surgery BUT the guy who put you to sleep would not because of my size. Hell, I was half way there in my minds thinking. Whatever happened, happened. Something clicked.

So for a few weeks, I thought about it. And realized that I had the best results by low carb. (this was from the weight loss surgery information. IT works when you work it btw. It stopped when I stopped). So now that is now popular as Keto. Before it was Atkins. With me now? You know where I am coming from? Same thing, same concept, different name.

I talked to hub about it and like always, he was down for it to support me. I mean, how could he not be. I had no idea how much I weighed as I do not own a scale. But pants were 28. YES. And they go higher. I was already looking into that.

So on Nov, 2020, on Thanksgiving Day, I chose to start my low carb life and took it 100% head on. Because I could not walk, I had to be super strict with what I ate. I started off strict. I always tell people to just make a few changes here and there to get started. I started several weeks prior to get my mind, my thoughts straight. I told NO one but my hub what I was doing.

I started that day. NO potatoes, no rice, no bread, no fruit, no carbs, no sugar and stopped eating at 730. NO EXCEPTIONS. I did it day in and day out. I noticed my clothes getting bigger on me and then in like Feb, people were commenting are you losing weight? I kept wearing my big clothes. DEF an inspiration. So then I start to buy smaller clothes and just kept going. The more I lost, the better my knees became (oh they still hurt, still stiff and I had to sit because I could only go short paces) but I kept at it.

It was hard. I had to pray alot and I had to keep believing in myself. I had to do the most important thing. BE HONEST. I was the only one who could do this for me. NOT my hub, not my doctor, not Elvis. ME. Let me say that clothes sizes do not lie. IF you are doing what you need to do (eat etc), and you are losing weight, your clothes will be honest. Fuck the scale. You focus on the truth. When you do that, you can truly accomplish whatever you wish. Just be honest. You know what you eat. Calories in versus calories out.

I was making great progress and had an appt with my knee doctor but then in Nov, 2021, I had to have emergency stomach surgery (they thought a blockage of some sort and thankfully it wasn’t). While they were in there, they removed the lap band. When that happened, I changed the name of this blog because I no longer have a weight loss surgery. Do not get me wrong, when I used the lap band correctly, hell yeah it worked!! BUT when I started to over eat, drink, boom, you know what happened. I had some scarring on stomach from the lap band, but otherwise, all was okay inside. They never did tell me why I had pain but since the surgery, I have not had that pain again. Maybe with the removal, it actually helped. I am glad it is OUT.

Shortly there after, the doctor saw the weight loss that I had and schedule my left knee replacement. That was Jan 2022. NOW I am getting my right knee done Jan 2023. I did that. ME. I worked hard to get this done. I do this day in and day out. NO exceptions.

I do not cheat on my eating. I stay true. I am being honest with myself. My clothes size do not lie. I just go day in and day out. Sure I get tired of it all and want to toss in the towel. Yes, I miss eating crap like I use to but I am today wearing a size small sweater that I bought off the rack at at store. NOT plus size. Not in the woman’s section. A regular person size. THAT is proof to me that me being honest with myself, is working.

Now the drawback to having lost this amount of weight along with my age of being nearly 100, is the saggy skin. I have alot. Prob 20 to 30 pounds worth is my guess. That is truly being honest as in 2015, I went to Duke University for a skin removal appt and my insurance denied it at that time which is an entire different story for another day. BUT when the doctor was lifting my stomach (YUK then and now), he guess-timated 20 pounds so I am surmising it is that or maybe a bit more and then my upper saggy arms and my saggy upper thighs.

I do tend to focus on that quite a bit and it gets me down a lot. I did that to myself. ME. Not my mom, not Elvis dying, not the failure lap band/weight loss surgery (it did not btw, it worked like it was suppose to). ME. I was the one who chose to overeat and stop exercising and eat junk and fast foods high in carbs and drink beer and then I switched to wine (all sugar btw) and guess what happened. Just guess.

But it is what it is. Today is what it is now.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. IT is how we choose to use it. YOU and me have the option to eat better (or whatever you wish to change) in your life.

YOU!! Yes you. You either do it or you don’t. NO excuses. NO exceptions. As soon as you decided to truly DO it, and I mean TRULY do it, there will be no going back.

Hub and me go out (now that covid is not so bad now) a couple times a week. Yes, I eat out but NO exceptions. YOU can make anything low carb. Ditch the bread, ditch the ketchup (sugar) and def skip all fried foods, ALL. It is easier than you think. It truly is. I eat and I enjoy it. I do not diet as I do not see myself as depriving myself of anything. There are just options.

AND when it all boils down, if I choose to eat like I use too, I would not be able to get new knees or walk like I do now. I haven’t used my cane since 2 weeks after my knee replacement. I get out and we go and we walk and I never look back. I do sit and take a break because my right knee hurts like shit still but that is all that is holding me back at the moment. I know how easy it would be for me to go back to that person I was. It is an everyday battle. BUT I remember how hard it was for me. I remember and I use that.

So today, whatever it is you wish to change about yourself, remember you are perfect AS IS. God did not make mistakes. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Those 2 go hand in hand. I remember seeing him ride off on the bike without me. I was too fat to ride much less get on. NOW, I ride everywhere. I go everywhere. ME. That person who less than 2 years ago was up over 350 easy (based on the clothes size). So it can be done. YES, it can be done.

You just got to be honest.

Keep going….

Sorry that I have missed a few days. I mainly write when I am at work. And if/when I get busy, I tend not to write/post/blog. So please, if you read this, accept my apologies.

How are you doing? Have you made a change in regards to your health (eating/drinking/exercise/thinking)? If so, I am so proud of you. If not, I am still proud of you.

IT is up to you to finally reach a point where you have just had enough. THEN and only then, will you decide to just do something about it. Whatever it is you wish to change. Hell, it could be the hair color or your nail polish. IF it matters, then it is important.

So, my new right knee surgery will happen Jan 27, 2023. I am so excited. Then I will have 2 brand new knees. I am so happy and also so scared. I know I have did it before but still…..I read things online and they say the 2nd surgery is harder blah blah blah. I will face that battle head on.

So remember to focus on what you can change. NOT what you can’t.

Remember it will not happen overnight but if you keep at it, it will happen.

The hard part is the day in and the day out. Doing it even when you don’t want to.

Doing it when you are angry, tired, upset, not feeling it or just fed the fuck up.

KEEP doing it.

Yes, I am focused and I am determined but I am like you. I have days where I just want to say who cares, give me that bag of BBQ chips and 6pack of coors light and who cares, I won’t ever look like so and so.

BUT, I keep going.

You do not go from a size 3xWoman to a medium by giving up. YOU get there by keep facing forward and not looking back. You are not going that way.

One day at a time. Yes, its a cliche but but is the truth.

♥