Being honest

No matter what is going on in your life, when you wake up everyday, be honest with yourself. Have you done your best? Have you truly took care of yourself? Be honest.

My blog is about losing weight. You can make a change concerning whatever (nail polish color, what to make for dinner or lose weight or just exercise more). Whatever it is, you have to decide to just do it.

I am a retired professional dieter. I have dieted my entire life. It worked. I had lap band weight loss surgery. It worked. I have counted calories. It worked. I have exercised. It worked.

Why then do I have a weight problem if it all worked?

BECAUSE I stopped working.

THE moment that I lost weight, I was like yes! And over ate, stopped exercising, starting overeating and drinking again and bam, gained it back and then some (at least 5+ times).

I let myself get so big (again), that walking was very hard. I was using a cane every day because I could not physically do it. All I did was eat and drink and get bigger.

I went to the knee doctor to try and get a shot to help with knee pain. The doctor told me that if I lost weight, he would do the knee surgery BUT the guy who put you to sleep would not because of my size. Hell, I was half way there in my minds thinking. Whatever happened, happened. Something clicked.

So for a few weeks, I thought about it. And realized that I had the best results by low carb. (this was from the weight loss surgery information. IT works when you work it btw. It stopped when I stopped). So now that is now popular as Keto. Before it was Atkins. With me now? You know where I am coming from? Same thing, same concept, different name.

I talked to hub about it and like always, he was down for it to support me. I mean, how could he not be. I had no idea how much I weighed as I do not own a scale. But pants were 28. YES. And they go higher. I was already looking into that.

So on Nov, 2020, on Thanksgiving Day, I chose to start my low carb life and took it 100% head on. Because I could not walk, I had to be super strict with what I ate. I started off strict. I always tell people to just make a few changes here and there to get started. I started several weeks prior to get my mind, my thoughts straight. I told NO one but my hub what I was doing.

I started that day. NO potatoes, no rice, no bread, no fruit, no carbs, no sugar and stopped eating at 730. NO EXCEPTIONS. I did it day in and day out. I noticed my clothes getting bigger on me and then in like Feb, people were commenting are you losing weight? I kept wearing my big clothes. DEF an inspiration. So then I start to buy smaller clothes and just kept going. The more I lost, the better my knees became (oh they still hurt, still stiff and I had to sit because I could only go short paces) but I kept at it.

It was hard. I had to pray alot and I had to keep believing in myself. I had to do the most important thing. BE HONEST. I was the only one who could do this for me. NOT my hub, not my doctor, not Elvis. ME. Let me say that clothes sizes do not lie. IF you are doing what you need to do (eat etc), and you are losing weight, your clothes will be honest. Fuck the scale. You focus on the truth. When you do that, you can truly accomplish whatever you wish. Just be honest. You know what you eat. Calories in versus calories out.

I was making great progress and had an appt with my knee doctor but then in Nov, 2021, I had to have emergency stomach surgery (they thought a blockage of some sort and thankfully it wasn’t). While they were in there, they removed the lap band. When that happened, I changed the name of this blog because I no longer have a weight loss surgery. Do not get me wrong, when I used the lap band correctly, hell yeah it worked!! BUT when I started to over eat, drink, boom, you know what happened. I had some scarring on stomach from the lap band, but otherwise, all was okay inside. They never did tell me why I had pain but since the surgery, I have not had that pain again. Maybe with the removal, it actually helped. I am glad it is OUT.

Shortly there after, the doctor saw the weight loss that I had and schedule my left knee replacement. That was Jan 2022. NOW I am getting my right knee done Jan 2023. I did that. ME. I worked hard to get this done. I do this day in and day out. NO exceptions.

I do not cheat on my eating. I stay true. I am being honest with myself. My clothes size do not lie. I just go day in and day out. Sure I get tired of it all and want to toss in the towel. Yes, I miss eating crap like I use to but I am today wearing a size small sweater that I bought off the rack at at store. NOT plus size. Not in the woman’s section. A regular person size. THAT is proof to me that me being honest with myself, is working.

Now the drawback to having lost this amount of weight along with my age of being nearly 100, is the saggy skin. I have alot. Prob 20 to 30 pounds worth is my guess. That is truly being honest as in 2015, I went to Duke University for a skin removal appt and my insurance denied it at that time which is an entire different story for another day. BUT when the doctor was lifting my stomach (YUK then and now), he guess-timated 20 pounds so I am surmising it is that or maybe a bit more and then my upper saggy arms and my saggy upper thighs.

I do tend to focus on that quite a bit and it gets me down a lot. I did that to myself. ME. Not my mom, not Elvis dying, not the failure lap band/weight loss surgery (it did not btw, it worked like it was suppose to). ME. I was the one who chose to overeat and stop exercising and eat junk and fast foods high in carbs and drink beer and then I switched to wine (all sugar btw) and guess what happened. Just guess.

But it is what it is. Today is what it is now.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. IT is how we choose to use it. YOU and me have the option to eat better (or whatever you wish to change) in your life.

YOU!! Yes you. You either do it or you don’t. NO excuses. NO exceptions. As soon as you decided to truly DO it, and I mean TRULY do it, there will be no going back.

Hub and me go out (now that covid is not so bad now) a couple times a week. Yes, I eat out but NO exceptions. YOU can make anything low carb. Ditch the bread, ditch the ketchup (sugar) and def skip all fried foods, ALL. It is easier than you think. It truly is. I eat and I enjoy it. I do not diet as I do not see myself as depriving myself of anything. There are just options.

AND when it all boils down, if I choose to eat like I use too, I would not be able to get new knees or walk like I do now. I haven’t used my cane since 2 weeks after my knee replacement. I get out and we go and we walk and I never look back. I do sit and take a break because my right knee hurts like shit still but that is all that is holding me back at the moment. I know how easy it would be for me to go back to that person I was. It is an everyday battle. BUT I remember how hard it was for me. I remember and I use that.

So today, whatever it is you wish to change about yourself, remember you are perfect AS IS. God did not make mistakes. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Those 2 go hand in hand. I remember seeing him ride off on the bike without me. I was too fat to ride much less get on. NOW, I ride everywhere. I go everywhere. ME. That person who less than 2 years ago was up over 350 easy (based on the clothes size). So it can be done. YES, it can be done.

You just got to be honest.