hard to be you…

How many times each day do you mean to say one thing, and say another instead, because you’re worried about what others might think?

How often do you wake up in the morning with one idea in mind for what you want to accomplish, only to find yourself doing something else because of social pressures or personal anxieties?

Do you dress the way you want to dress? Do you listen to the music you really like, or do you follow the herd? Are you working the job of your dreams, or the job of someone else’s dreams?

In this industrial era, a lot of things are mass produced. It is harder than ever to be yourself when others want you to be mass produced too. But no lifetime, no matter how successful, will be truly rewarding or happy if you cannot learn to love yourself and be yourself.

Let the world know you as you are, not as you (or they ) think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?


wrote by the Misplaced Southerner

knee pain

had 2 bad patches of knee pain recently and had to return to the dreaded doctor.

i fell down on it last month on my right knee and it was okay and then at work,
it just jacked up and i could not hardly stand on it. so i got a steroid shot and some 800 motrin to take for the inflammation. It got better..

then it happened again
back to the doctor for another short and more motrin…they xray my right knee
and found bone spurs and hence the pain OUCH

the doctor called in a referral for a ortho appt. they said maybe they
can get me cortisone shot for my knee directly and maybe see what else is going on

this weekend, my hubs big biker 2 day bash …aka fest is happening ……

i am concerned bout my knee
i am concerned bout people seeing my fatness and laughing at me
i am ashamed
i am still stressing at work

and all this on top of the russia planes flying by where our son is about to get
stationed in alaska at and me trying NOT to worry……

sorry i have not been writing so please forgive me

i love you and i thank you for reading me if you do and for being my friend
and support unit

am back

sorry to be absent

still battling my self induced demons

still struggling with work and stress

still struggling with self hatred


BUT not giving up…..not yet

my thoughts while at lunch..

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.