Accept

It is important to find oneself again if you want to do anything. I find this to be true and I am ONLY speaking in regards to myself. As always.

I grew up in a home with a mother who did not know how to really be a mother or show love and affection. She was such an unhappy person and that unhappiness just trickled down to me and my 2 brothers. I recall her happy very rarely and she seemed so sad. She passed in Sept 2014 and where ever she is now, I am hoping that God has gave her the peace that she so desperately needed and deserved.

I have been so afraid of being (like) her and lived in fear, even now, that I come across as her. I look in the mirror and see her in my reflection as I do resemble her but I truly hope that is all that I carry.

I find and now accept that my worse feature is what I fear the most. CARING to much about what people think of me. Every time I speak or do something, I feel and get worried I will upset someone or have them mad at me. I cannot stand anyone being mad at me. Is that thin skinned? I don’t know but I truly hate that part of me. I am pushing 60 and still can hear the negative comments in my head. Words hurt. Why I try SO hard to not hurt anyone.

But to make yourself well, YOU must accept that the choices YOU made, got you into this position. Yes, I blamed every one and everything for my weight/health issues. All except the person who actually did the eating and drinking.

I have lost a zillion pounds and gained it back in my years alive. What a waste. Not of just money but of food and time and regret. Was that extra bag of chips worth it? Was that 6 pack worth it? Was me ordering a pizza and then call and complain it wasn’t right and then get a free one so I could eat that to worth it? WAS IT?

But whatever is done is done. Get over it. IT will never ever come back or return. The last 5 minutes won’t return either!! So do it right and how YOU want to do it. Do what works for you because YOU are the one doing it and the ONLY ONE who can do this for YOU.

Do you hear me clearly? YES, I am talking to myself.

Thanksgiving day, 2020, is when I again said I am so done.

Why not pick a day to feast to begin to change your health.

I just changed what I ate. I changed that day and became super strict. Hard to believe that in almost 2 years, I haven’t had potatoes (this means fries, potato chips, mashed taters), bread (this means sandwich bread, biscuits, cornbread, crutons, tortillas, pizza crust). I am super strict on my sugar intake (but I do intake daily to help with my blood sugar). I do not eat candy or junk food or anything processed or out of boxes. I also do not eat fruit of any kind. I do not drink regular milk. I do not eat fried foods.

Meat, cheese, veggies is how I roll. I do eat good and I enjoy what I eat. And if I get hungry, I eat. I do not deprive and I do not do without. I just make better choices.

I do not count calories but I do watch my carb intake and my sugar intake. I stop eating by 730 every night (sometimes if it is at after 8 (if we go out) I am not gonna get all bent out of shape.

The most important thing to remember is to make it clearly known to yourself that you are not on a diet. YOU are choosing to make better choices for your body. That’s it.

Being a retired professional dieter, I am aware of the calorie content of most foods but it does not take a rocket scientist to realize some foods are better choices than others. You are not stupid. You know eating an entire bag of BBQ potato chips is not good for you. (I use BBQ chips because I love those. I shall miss them forever). You know eating is eating. You know that grilled chicken is better than fried chicken. You know unsweet tea is better than sweet tea.

So you acknowledge to yourself that you are not dumb and you don’t have to diet to lose weight. Make one small change and see what happens. I chose to dive right in and make all the changes on a massive holiday eating day. No mashed taters and gravy or cranberry sauce or bread rolls or pumpkin and pecan pies. BUT it was the decision I made to start. I had to start somewhere.

I was over 350 pounds, EASY. I could hardly walk. Bad knees toting that much weight on my short body makes a body hurt. I had to use a cane. I could not stand up with feeling like I was dying. And having to go potty, I only hoped that I could make it there before you know….

Now I have had success in the past. What makes it different this time? BECAUSE my knee doctor told me that I could have a new knee. (My left one just got replaced Jan 22) and I am about to get my right one Feb 23 replaced). THAT was my motivation.

My hub could not do this for me. My son and anyone I know could not. IT WAS and IS up to me. I cannot exercise due to my knees so I had to be strict on the food intake. IF you take in more calories than you burn off, you gain. Whether you eat it or drink it. It is a fact. Accept it.

Once you accept things for what they are and how they are, YOU can change.

You have to do what works for you. You know your life and what you do and how you live. I am beyond blessed to have a spouse to support me and give me guidance. Heck, he has been on this journey as long as me HAHA. He is a professional dieter too I guess.

So when you accept whatever, in my opinion, you can begin.

If you do (or you think you did bad one meal or one day), so what. Get over it. It is done and will never come back to re-do. There is no replay in real life. Do what you can with where YOU are right now.

Take it from a very insecure person who has been a weight loss yo you her entire adult life.

YOU can if YOU want. ♥