recall the movie Rocky 3
…when he was running on the beach and gives up…..Adriane comes up to him and tries to get him to talk and he said something that is how i feel and can best describe how i *thinking*. he said if a fighter doesnt believe in himself, its over/finished and that he doesnt believe in who his is anymore.
THIS is how i feel.
I feel as if i let my dr, my hub, my WL friends, my friends, my family, and everyone in the world down..HOW dare i come into the blogging word and try to advise anyone anything. i do not tell anyone what to do i hope…but do try to offer what i am doing or lately, what i am NOT doing….and try to tell it as i see it and now living it…
i am hoping i can get my shit together mental wise to give myself a sign of encouragement..me not quitting or giving up is a sign to myself that i want to..i am not looking to be a size 2…i would cut my feet off if i could be but i just want to be healthier…and feel not embarrassed for my hub to be around me due to my fat ass…or as eye candy says *fat fuck*…she is a rad crazy woman who i adore..
..so i am trying to find that spark…that will make ME believe in ME again..
Ok, FF here, Eye Candy. I checked my BMI the other day. For me to be healthy I need to weigh 110-150, ain’t never happening. I am in the 190’s and feels wonderful. I would love to be 170’s, maybe before I die, I’ll get there. When I got married 45 years ago, I weighed 144 and wore the same size as I do now. Goes to show sizes got bigger.
People who judge by size, SUCK! I am one of them, even though I had LapBand, I am 100% guilty.
No one is perfect. I brought up my sons like that, you may not see what’s wrong but people are not perfect. My oldest is dyslectic and has ADD, my youngest obese since childhood and yes I tried everything. My sons are both 6’2″ and about 150-200 pounds different, same house, same parents. My son’s youngest, 8 next month is obese and they let him eat shit all the time. People don’t always learn from their mistakes.
So, now with the holidays coming up, we need to be smart. try everything but 1 tablespoon of each. I can;t eat poultry anymore so I am bringing salmon to my brother’s for me, Thanksgiving and green beans. Remember, eat smart and move. I hate pies, lucky me. I am a very fussy eater and I just don’t do cooked fruits, the thought grosses me out. Yes, I am fat and was fatter from breads, fried foods, pizza and crap.
Sorry this is long and I got carried away.
Have a great Hump Day, everyone.
Arlene aka Eye Candy
You will get this back! Don’t worry, I’m here if you need anything!
***BIG hugs and BIG thanks***….just knowing you are there is helping me GF…its nice to have people support me even if i cant support myself (yet)….
You will, don’t you worry-it will come!
….i wish i would stop worrying…i wonder if didnt have nothing to worry about…would i be bored??
I know I would I feel like I worry about everything LOL!
me too and it drives me crazy..i can make myself believe anything…like right now i am scared i hurt my WLS bc i have been overeating my allotment and well, i picture all sorts of stuff…and i am scared/worried etc…the earliest appt is 1/5 but if i over stress, i may go in early but i am scared…what if. what if, …..
No what if’s if you think you shld go in early even if it’s just for peace of mind then do it.
i would feel better but am scared to go…to be told there is something wrong..it scares me 😦
I understand that completely, hang in there girl-let me know if you need anything!
you are terrific. i need a slap up side the head is what i need..of reality and get off this dangum pity woe is me party….
You’ll get there, I’m here for you!!
Keep on trucking and you will get there.
Reset your mindset and add water into the mix. Every time you go for food, got for water.
It really works!
yes, most of the time when people (including me) think i am hungry, we are just in fact thirsty…its a fact and its true for me and that is what i speak for..BUT i know if you drink something very cold, that usually does the trick..thanks for the comment and BTW, love love your blog….
Thank you. You are kind to say so I did’t mean to teach my granny to suck eggs so to speak so I am glad you already know that info on the drinking.
Good luck with it all!
I love it when in Little Nemo the fish Dory says “Just keep swimming.” *grins*… life lessons from a fish yanno? Sometimes its OKAY to lean on others for a bit… and to let them lean on us too. Think about a house of cards for a moment. Or two wooden blocks even. Generally, if one stands straight… and you lean another against it… they both fall over, right? HOWEVER! If two lean against each other and SUPPORT each other… they both stay upright! In life it’s much the same way. We are allowed to lean against each other to help each other out. This is different from dependence which is a one way street. Leaning for support (where it is give and take and both parties benefit) is MUTUAL and healthy. Big hugs to you! And may the stars light your path!
wow, you are the kindest soul…spirit…thank you for responding..you speak with such strength..i wish i could have that also..
You have it within you. It’s there I promise! It is a seed within you. Water it and let it grow!