recall the movie Rocky 3
…when he was running on the beach and gives up…..Adriane comes up to him and tries to get him to talk and he said something that is how i feel and can best describe how i *thinking*. he said if a fighter doesnt believe in himself, its over/finished and that he doesnt believe in who his is anymore.
THIS is how i feel.
I feel as if i let my dr, my hub, my WL friends, my friends, my family, and everyone in the world down..HOW dare i come into the blogging word and try to advise anyone anything. i do not tell anyone what to do i hope…but do try to offer what i am doing or lately, what i am NOT doing….and try to tell it as i see it and now living it…
i am hoping i can get my shit together mental wise to give myself a sign of encouragement..me not quitting or giving up is a sign to myself that i want to..i am not looking to be a size 2…i would cut my feet off if i could be but i just want to be healthier…and feel not embarrassed for my hub to be around me due to my fat ass…or as eye candy says *fat fuck*…she is a rad crazy woman who i adore..
..so i am trying to find that spark…that will make ME believe in ME again..