its hard to admit that i havent done well in the last yr..its embarrassing and i am ashamed..i can be ashamed until the sky turns purple but the pants dont lie..some of my pants dont button and that is because i am overeating and choosing the wrong foods and not exercising..and the vitals…eating more cals than i can burn off (including my zombie drinking)..
i have had a hard yr…stroll with me down memory lane..
first realizing that someone i thought was a friend wasnt (A) being her inital and that hurt and still does..just because i dont do drugs doesnt give anyone a reason to (lie) about me…this person told other people flat out lies about me…but that is about a yr since i found out the truth and i am one who carries pain w/me all the time..esp when i see her…and i do because her hub and mine are still friends and thats cool but i cant like liars
when my ins denied my stomach skin surgery last yr, i literally gave up..TRUTH
my mom who had her own demons to battle..died a very lonely and bitter woman..hard to believe its been a yr already..if there is a heaven, i hope she could have found the peace she she longed for and deserved here on earth..
my hub has had a hard time with his parents being sick..and the his dad passing away..seeing this hurt someone as strong as hub is, hurt me to my core…dealing with medicare and nursing home w/his mom and selling the house and the dealings with funerals..i dont know how hub held it together..and still doing..
then about a month later, out of the blue, our beloved black doberman passed away very very suddenly…i cant tell you how that affected us both…less than a month since his dad died..i cant describe how i still hurt and yes it was just a dog but it was our (son)..
then if that isnt enough….one thursday evening hub gets a call that his best friend was killed on his motorcycle when someone ran a stop sign…
so after all these things happened, i gave up
i started eating
eating more than i know is right for my WLS of choice
and stopped believing in myself
what is the end result..
my pants not buttoning do NOT lie
it speaks the truth
it is UP to me to get back on track
i can say and write i want to
but until i do..actually do something about it..
my pants will continue to tell the truth..
thanks for listening and supporting and believing in me when i stopped