having a pity party….

soon..hub and myself are going to the beach with all his mc friends (i would guess couple hundred people total in a hotel/pool)..

i am scared to death…I don’t want to embarrass hub
Due to my size..i hate who I am and I hate me
i hate what i have DONE in the last year..

i did the opposite of what i should have done
i overate
i took in more empty calories
i stopped working out

NO EXCUSES, it was me

Sure I can whine/bitch/moan but unless I do something and use the tool I got, nothing will change and I am destined to regain it all back WHICH I do not want to happen.

yes, i need to read this
see the problem…..which is me as if i didnt know
acknowledge it…
and then fucking get on with it..

is there a time limit to when i have to get to where i want to be?

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About Banded Carolina Girl

NC girl getting healthy. Come visit me and say hello.
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2 Responses to having a pity party….

  1. Hi Carolina Girl, I liked this only because I completely relate to the issue. I had a WLS 2 years ago and over the past 6 months I gained back 30 lbs, and am working to get back on track. I wonder if you have ever read anything about food addiction? I recognize I am addicted to sugar and flour and I ate that 6 months ago thinking I could control it because of my tool but found I cannot, and because i am addicted to those 2 substances I’ll never be able to control it. And those are the 2 substances that immediately caused me sudden and rapid weight regain. So ease up on yourself – there are thousands of us out here in Internet Land looking for support and solutions. The first thing I had to do is start being kinder to me, and I am making progress in my recovery. You can, too. If you would like me to share any reference pages, books or sites I’d be glad to give you what I know. Hang in there! You are worth of love and recovery and feeling good about YOU! Anne

    • thank you for taking time out to write me. i surely did need to hear from one who understands..but i figure anyone with a weight problem knows or can relate to that at one time or another..
      i overeat and sometimes drink too much because one i can…and its easy and sometimes i just dont wanna eat the best things…i wanna eat junk 2 like everyone else..

      i know why i gain weight
      i overeat and dont exercise the excess calories and i do not eat the (right foods) i acknowledge it and it just pisses me off that i have no control sometimes…

      not that long ago someone said i failed my WLS…and it hurt me deeply..seems i am trying to prove them right…

      i dont like me very much right now..and i know we must do that

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