they spoke to HER

it is true…it is what you think

i am a over thinker
i think too much and then convince myself of the issue/problem
when in fact, there really isnt a problem

when in fact, the answer is looking back at me in the mirror
the person looking back at you in the mirror is the ONLY one
that can make you happy or sad…granted life makes us all sad and
we have people that are not nice and that hurt us terribly and we
either handle it well (not me) or we say it will ruin everything (me)

so yesterday, had some awesome people give me a serious pep talk and talking to
me…not the woe is me person lurking within but to the PERSON who was once
a super morbid obese woman…the one who could not wipe her butt or put socks on
the one who could not stand for more than 5 min because her knees/legs hurt so bad
they spoke to HER and they REACHED her…

i forgot how far i had actually come from when i started
i forgot what all i went through to get to where i am at right now
sure i am up some in the weight but i am not doing (bad)…why does
people think if they regain some weight, they are bad or they suck balls
or feel as if they are a failure? well they arent and neither am i

fuck no i am not
i am a woman, who will be turning 50 this year
i have my rest of my life in front of me to stay and get well
and i will do it IF i let HER

so yesterday, i also realized that i am a good person
yes, read that again…..i said i am a good person
it doesnt matter what i weight now or next week or last month
what matters is who i am as a person…a comment on one of my blogs made me
realize that is what matters….so what i have saggy stomach or appear hefty.
well so what? i mean really?? so what…at least i am better than i WAS

so yesterday after those talks got through to me and made me re-connect
with what i am doing and what i want…i was able to see things as i use too
yes, that is right

it IS what one thinks
if you think you CAN, you WILL
but if you doubt yourself, you are already in trouble
been there/done that and very recently also

so in the 24 hours, i have changed
i have (did) a total about face

i know what i can do
i know what i need to do
but more importantly
i know what i WANT to do

it is not about me being 100 pounds (which yall know i’d kill for to be)
or to be a size 4 (in my moms stomach when she was pregnant was the only time i was)

it is about life
living
breathing
eating/drinking/moving

getting on my hubs harley with him and riding somewhere
being able to walk around the block or a flea market
being able to wipe my butt
being mobile and being more healthy

i remember NOW what i am
and what i am NOT and will never be
but the ONLY thing i can be is me
and i have to work with that

and you know what, after they woke her up
me being me, who i am now, is okay.

so let me say to anyone struggling
and we have all been there, there is no going back and re-doing yesterday
we have today…so lets just focus on that and not the (overall end)

why?

it will be there waiting for you when you do finally arrive.

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About Banded Carolina Girl

NC girl getting healthy. Come visit me and say hello.
This entry was posted in acceptance, attitude, believe in yourself, big, carolina girl and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to they spoke to HER

  1. Mary Lou Sharp says:

    My Dear CG you have no idea the countless number of people you inspired and motivated by being your honest to goodness self. I couldn’t wait to log into lapband talk each day to see what you were up to. no matter what you are a success. I have had struggles too and I think it’s in all of us to fail if we let ourselves think that way. I have to re-group every now and again and be thankful for how far I have come. 2 years ago I was unhappy, immobile and unhealthy. Today I am happy, healthy and active. I can shop with my girls, ride my horse and have energy left to clean house if I want to. the old saying “You’ve come a long way baby” applies to you and me. No matter what anyone else says or does you know you are awesome. You and I are so blessed to have our supportive husbands and families right there with us. Count your many blessings my dear friend and just keep on doing it..

  2. Eye Candy says:

    very well written!! Welcome back.

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