just call me a failure

well, i was told that i am approaching my 3 yr band-versary and that i failed the surgery..yes, that is what i was told..and i was like…OK..

its true, i am not at goal and i also am unhappily carrying about 20 pounds of skin on my stomach/thighs/upper arms also and so i am not sure what my (goal weight) should be..i know i would kill my own kin to weigh 100 pounds but i know that will never ever happen. i would be happy to be at about 150..

BUT, its about basics
i am making no excuses..i am not doing as well as i should
and that is my fault. NOT the lap band..i am eating more of the
wrong things, not exercising/moving and not really doing anything
to help myself…

maybe this person is right, i have failed

but i am better off now then i was when i had surgery
so maybe i am not a failure after all.


About Banded Carolina Girl

NC girl getting healthy. Come visit me and say hello.
This entry was posted in carolina girl, failure, words and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to just call me a failure

  1. efwalt says:

    Oh no! Who was it who used the word failure?! That’s such a harsh word to use. You haven’t failed, you just haven’t quite reached full potential and that can happen for a whole host of reasons. But you’re right, you’ve achieved way more than you would have without the band so you must see it as a success.

    Try not to dwell on the pounds you should have lost by now but the pounds you WILL lose starting today 🙂

  2. dcarmack says:

    Have you tried just eating meats? I did it for a month and could have easily went longer. Just find a source of natural meats.

  3. Mary Lou Sharp says:

    who would tell you that? Look at how far you have come. Girl, quit listening to negative people. Yes we all slip and fall back into old habits. I have too but I am determined to finish this project called myself. I am still not to my goal but have maintained what I have lost and am 100% healthier than I was . so just say “Whatever” and get back in the game.

    • The hard part is whom said it. If this person thinks/feels that, does the world? This person knows who insecure I already am. To hurt me is take a direct aim at what bothers me the most..My oustside. I know people judge me for that. I am not overly stupid. But still, to be told I failed my WLS and that I gave up, hurts. Maybe partly true and mostly due to whom said it.

  4. dray0308 says:

    Someone once said, “stop trying to live up to the expectations of others and start living up to the expectations you should have of yourself.” Failure is only judged fairly when you decide to quit. Until then keep struggling, keep trying. But make sure your goal is your own!

  5. lizholtzinger says:

    You, my dear, are not a failure. In my view, there are no such things as mistakes or failures, only experiences. It’s what we take from those experiences that matter. So take this experience, and learn from it. What has it taught you? Simply that you need to regroup and make some changes. That’s it! That’s not “failure,” that’s illumination and growth! You learned something about yourself. Celebrate that, and do what must be done in order to get where you want to be.

    And hey– thanks for reading my blog too! It’s fun to find others reading it! And you reading mine lead me to me reading yours, so we both win!!!!

    Keep your head up!!!!

    • regroup and make changes?? that is exactly what happened…and it def made me take a step back and look around this big wide world.. def will learn from it but ready to not hurt as much anymore..

  6. Kim Gorman says:

    Thank you so much for “liking” my new blog. I’ve read a few of your posts. I want to say that you are not your weight or even the negative thoughts floating around in your mind. It seems to me that you’ve been down on yourself for so long that you just don’t know any other way to be. Negative thinking becomes habitual, addictive even. That’s the nature of the mind – we become what we think and believe. Have you tried yoga and meditation? Or perhaps gardening or simply walking through nature? These, too, are forms of meditation. It seems to me that you need something to take you out of your mind and help you remember that you are part of something so much larger than yourself.
    And that you are important and matter.

    • You are right. I have been down/negative my entire life about me and my weight..I am afraid I dont know any other way. YOUR words you wrote here speak volumes and I am turning my speakers up today…thank you for reaching out to me…thank YOU ♥

  7. LiveStrong41 says:

    Omgoodness! Carolina Girl! I don’t know if you remember me or not. I haven’t been on this forum in a loong time. Heck, it’s probably been about 1-2 years. Or maybe it just feels that way. Nevertheless, we were banded at around the same time and you have always been a favorite banded beauty of mine. Smart, inspirational, generous, funny, and cute as hell. Soo, when I read this post about someone calling your banding a failure because you hadn’t reached YOUR weight goal I was shocked. Seriously… YOU failed?!! You are the epitome of a success story! Not only do you look amazing, but I clearly remember where you started from!! Your stories always had a way of touching me. Each and every time you wrote about yourself, be it about something in your past or present, it was either relatable or inspirational. Not to mention all the time you spend helping others and offering advice or words of encouragement! My gosh, if for that reason alone, your banded experience could never be considered a failure!

    So let me tell you my take (for what it’s worth) regarding the ridiculous notion that your surgery was a failure. Let’s start with the obvious: Could the conversation been driven by jealousy? Yes. Ignorance? Resentment? Sure. However what if it’s not even that deeply rooted? What if it’s just an insensitive remark made by a friend who felt a little too comfortable offering her/his thoughts? A better explanation that comes to mind about your friend’s hurtful comment and why she/he may have said it is that maybe she/he felt it was something you needed to hear. Um, say what? Hear me out. ha! You are a very “own it” and “take responsibility for your life” type person. You not only don’t like making excuses for yourself, ever, you also, seemingly, deal better with people who offer the “swift kick-in-the-pants” approach. Knowing this about you maybe your friend said what she/he thought you wanted/needed to hear. Maybe your own words came back to bite you because you are so hard on yourself. Does this makes any sense to you? I don’t mean you deserved to be hurt. Quite frankly, I stand by the notion that the words YOU and FAILURE are polar opposite, but sometimes, if we are too harsh with ourselves, others start to parrot our own warped image. Speaking for myself, I have a rather self-deprecation sense of humor and it always surprises the heck out of me when someone I know decides to poke fun at me in the same manner I use on myself. Um, like, when did they decide I would be okay with that? ha. Anyway, what all my rambling really means is that maybe it would help you to take a step back and not pay the words much mind. In no way am I saying this is somehow your fault (although judging from my inability to articulate what I’m trying to convey, I would certainly understand it if I’m confusing the heck out of you. ha!). I just think that paying it less attention is more deserved than believing even one word of what he/she said.

    Anyway… I had to drop in and tell you how proud I am of all your MANY accomplishments throughout the course of this journey. You are and continue to be a true inspiration! In fact, I think I might need to come online a bit more these days. I refuse to let the one and only CarolinaGirl get down on herself.

    Your biggest admirer! 🙂
    Um, and by biggest I’m not talking heaviest. Nope, not going back there… hee, hee

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