yes it sure does and what is important is that you accept what is and then move on from there..we all have a new day every day or every hour or whenever you take a mind to (change)…and change could be eating better, stopping drinking or smoking or beginning to exercise or even (letting go) of things that are not healthy/good for you…(not necessarily food) but of people who (hurt you or bring you down)
most of you who follow this blog know that in the last few months, life has took a world wind ride…my mom dying, my father in law dying, my mother in law on going health issues (they now seem to be getting worse) and of course my own insecurities of everyday life (work is hard for me and it def tires me out mentally) and of course my 24/7 drama when i look into the mirror and hate who i see/who i am
so for the last few months?? i really have not paid a bit of attention to what i ate (its true, i ate what i wanted and thankfully the lap band did not let me eat a huge amount) but i still CHOSE to eat the wrong things (fast foods, things out of bags (you know BBQ chips)…and no exercise and def took in more calories than i burned off..yes its true…
i recall in the BP weight loss forum someone said i wasnt human because i ever strayed off course (with eating etc)..well guess what yall, i am all human…a short, tan and chunky southern biker chick LOL
so yesterday, hub went on a ride with his friends to a local handicap boys home for an late easter egg hunt and i watched some TCM movies and got up off the couch and did my 20 step aerobics tape..I SURE did….today as i sit here at work, my thighs are sore and i know when i do it again tonight when i get home from work, my upper arms will be tomorrow.
so it is what it is
i have told people for years and its so true, the past cannot be changed
but the now can…i cant predict my future and what it holds but i can work on today..and if i live day by day instead of me worrying about everyone and everything else, i hope to be and do better and maybe even feel better…def feel i am sorta depressed but am trying very hard to pull myself out of that..depression is not something to play around with..
so it is back to what works….no drama..no need to (diet)
it is back to eating clean (nothing from boxes or bags)…no fast food but if you are there, make the best choices you can and def try not to over think it…and def what works for me…..(per my own choice and reasons) no bread/no pasta/no potatoes…and protein and protein…eat when hungry but make good choices in what you grab to eat…(fresh fruit and veggies are in season so now is the time to eat)
and lets NOT forget a very important thing
one of the most important and prob the best thing one can do for ones own
self worth/self confidence….movement…aka exercise..(its not what you cant do but rather what you CAN do)..so get up and just fucking do it…
and yes i am saying that to myself
truth does hurt but it also brings awareness and maybe, just maybe
an awareness to make yourself well
its not what the scale says (or what pants size you wear) although
that is a great thing..it is about acceptance..
so today, as much as truth hurts
i am who i am…and who i am is pretty darn ok
and its up to me to make myself healthier..
and that is exactly what i intend to do