well since i wrote the last post yesterday, i wanted to post an update…about an hour after i wrote my feelings, this person called me and wanted to *hash out things or clear the air*…i reminded her calmly that there is no hashing out that needed to be done or clearing the air as it was (her) who stopped talking to me….seems and this is my belief, she made/assumed something in her mind..and saying she wanted to clear the air lets me know that..there was NO issue not from my side….
what it boiled down to from what i could gather is her offense at another person…and she started to say well i hear *this person* say something and i said to her, not very nice but firm, did you hear me say it? i asked her this several times and if you did you need to ask me and not everyone else..and that answer was NO…i said you need to not listen to other people and if they are saying things, then ask them/call them on it.and not to assume things as they are untrue..she said i like bands/music and she doesnt like crowds and wont be going..(those who know my blog know that me and my hub do something every weekend with bands/music etc…its what we do)……(but we always have invited when we go) and we always get turned down in the last few months (but a side note, she will go out with other people when they tell us they are staying in)..that was what was frustrating and after several times of seeing that, you start to wonder, what is up with that??
we talked about 10 min..i told her i have not changed at all and that i had no idea what was wrong *still dont btw*…i said the ONLY thing i have said about her is me asking my hub and also her hub why did i do to upset her or why does she not want to talk/hang around me anymore and i told her that also..
so needless to say, things are about the same as i see it
cant speak for her as i have no idea…i really dont
i believe she called me bc my hub talked to her hub about it and asked WTF
and i am guessing he spoke to her and her called me…
when i see her and i will, i will do what i always do which is what i do to
everyone i see there…hug/kiss/hello how are you and mingle..i cant say it wont be easy to be around her but i am the one who hasnt (changed)…and i feel confident in knowing that and saying it..
i am a very easy going person
i am kinda on the quiet side
and i am scared of getting my feelings hurt 24/7
i keep to myself and dont (or try not to let) my issues rise to the service
people in this world judge harshly..and i am hurt easily..yes i blame my mom
for having no self esteem and insecurity but i do try to come across as one who doesnt let things get to me and that i am strong…funny thing is i am not..
and something like this…..petty BS has got to me and has affected me more than i can say and i hate the fact that it did that..or better yet, that i allowed it to affect me that way…
i want to just go along my merry special way
thinking of bunny rabbits and rainbows in my world
while trying not to think of the on going issues that are in my
life presently (my job which is no longer fun for me)…my hubs parents and their
bad health and a pending death that is expected (sorry to say that)…and life in general…things to the house that need to be done but $$ is very short in solving that…
and that is how my cookie is crumbling today..
what are your thoughts?