last year, my hub made a friend and introduced me to his wife in hopes we would become friends..and we did or so i thought..she does not have a weight problem so its not anything to do with that..i would say right before my mom died in sept, this person basically stopped wanting to do anything with me..i mean she was nice to my face and seemed to still like me…but now, whenever i am around her, i feel like shit as her attitude towards me has changed…and the hard part is i dont know why
yes it troubles me
yes it bothers me
and i hate that i let it bother me so
last sat, some ladies met up for dinner and the chill i felt was a slap in the face to me
i am not into games or high school i like her better than you drama..but it concerns me..i dont
know why or what..maybe that is why i have let it get to me..because i dont know why..
so i will be seeing her in the future..how do i handle it?
do i just be who i am? be myself or do i beg her to talk to me and let me know what is wrong..
or do i just ignore the high school pit pat BS
i wish i didnt care
i have spent my entire life caring what other people thought/think of me
and let if affect me so much that i am as insecure as they come..sure i can play it off
well sometimes but inside it bothers me..
i dont think i am jealous that she is spending time with other people now
people meet others and its a big ole world out there..
they smoke and do things that me and hub dont and i dont like/want to be around those things..but i guess
the not knowing is what bothers me the most.
i have enough on my plate…heavy duty work issues..my hubs parents on going health..(and my FIL terminal crisis) that i feel stupid even caring about this stupid thing..but its not stupid to me dammit..
i pondered if someone came to me and asked, i would say kill with kindness and smile
and say its not you..
and this i can say, it is NOT me with the problem..not if i could just stop caring/thinking about it.