it is what you think..

i am one of the most negative people you could ever run across…but only about myself…how could my hub of 30 yrs love this fat pig? how could the place i work for want to have someone like me working for them? how that..

i grew up thinking my father did not like me. he did not have much to do with me…did not say much to me or do things with me…and my mom reminded me of joan crawford in some aspects..she did not hit me but her brutal words still haunt me to this day and i an 49 years old.

i wish i could be a more positive person about myself..i mean i know what i look like and who i am as a person and am TERRIFIED of turning into a person who was like my mother..she was so miserable her entire life..i dont think she was ever truly happy..i dont even think she liked mom died and all i can think/feel is she died hating me..and why i will never know.

and with my own mother seeming to not like me, how can anyone like me? including myself? am i that awful a person? i know i have done/said things i wish i could take back..and have a do over but i cannot..i regret much and i also know somethings won’t be fixed…..but it is something i have to live with day in and day out.

losing weight is eating less calories than you can burn off with exercise
making 90% of the time great food choices is the way to live forever…exercising is amazing and its good for you and its part of life (to move)…and if you can have a positive attitude, then you got it good..

it is what you think
you must think you CAN

its hard on me today as i a trying
i am…and somehow it doesnt seem good enough..


About Banded Carolina Girl

NC girl getting healthy. Come visit me and say hello.
This entry was posted in lap band and plication. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to it is what you think..

  1. Mary Lou Sharp says:

    CG your post hit home with me. My Mother and I were not close. She always said something negative to me. I could never make her proud or even say anything complimentary. My Dad died young and I don’t think we did much as a family . He worked and came home and drank beer that is what I can remember . I think my mother was depressed however in her older years she did become a little better, I took care of her for a few years until she had to be in a nursing home and she did okay there until she died. I kept close watch on her and did my best because I felt I should, she raised me after all. No matter what relationships with parents can influence you as an adult . You have to know what a unique and interesting person you are. I immediately was drawn to you through your comments on the lapband site. You are a motivating force for many of us who are all in the same club. look how far you have come . I am not where I want to me nor did I envision it would take so long and somehow I didn’t realize that my flabby stomach would remain with me without surgical help. but you and I are In a much better place then we were 2 years ago. Your husband knows how great you are. You have to learn to love yourself and forgive your mother for her treatment of you . She probably had her own demons. Love you sister. take care of yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s