its hard sometimes being the biggest one…
i am the biggest one in the office and the biggest girl in my hub’s mc…even though i have lost a lot…(being a short shit) i am still a big girl…and not to mention my skin saggy/hanging on me due to my super morbid obese size…YIKES and its enough sometimes to make me go WTF and who cares anymore and have a massive binge…(as that was what i did my entire life……binge and binge and then feel like shit)
BUT because i have had the lapband and plication, i can only now eat so much…and this does help me control my sizes/portions..
just sometimes, i just wish i could look in the mirror and like what i see
and mean it…and say atta girl…but i dont…i look in the mirror and call myself a fat pig…as in reality, i am a big girl…albeit healthier but still a big girl
i meet new people and fear will they like me or not due to my size
i am my own worse enemy. i need to have better thinking about myself.
maybe some people see outside of me first…maybe some are disgusted by me
but maybe some like me regardless….
so yes, being the biggest one hurts